8 OF THE SCARIEST TEES & SCARIEST STORIES YOU’LL EVER EXPERIENCE
It’s October. And it’s almost Halloween. And this means only one thing: we are rapidly approaching SCARY TIME. Whether you like it or not, shiz is about to get real… freaky real. Spooky real. Creepster magee real. And since a whole bunch of our horror tees are on sale for only $12, we thought, let’s get to the heart of the matter here. Let’s reach out to our awesomely awesome artists behind some of these tees and have them get real with US. So now what do we have for your viewing and reading pleasure? A line-up of spooktacular tees, complete with a revelation from each artist: the scariest thing they’ve ever experienced. So go curl up in a warm, cozy place, ‘cuz every terrifying story you’re about to read below… is 100% REAL.
“A bunch of seagulls tried to strike me down like a common egg thief. It was basically Hitchcock’s ’The Birds’.”
“Years back my roommates were obsessed with the video game Silent Hill 2. Some nights after playing, they were so terrified and too scared to go to their own rooms alone, so they would camp out in the living room together.
Meanwhile, one of our friends stopped by and told us about an abandoned Catholic school. That night, we snuck in through a window, only to discover it looked just like the level in Silent Hill 2 with the twisted elementary school. Everything inside the classrooms and halls were rotted and eroded. Water leaking from the roof caused a frequent tapping that sounded just like distant foot steps. We braved it out though, and walked the entire two floors of the building. At the end we found a church with all its pews and altar. Above it was painted the word ‘DEATH’.
That’s when we all collectively pooped our pants.”
Kyle Cobban: "First day of school as an art teacher. 30 students, all 6 years old. Everyone crying. Please help."
Nestor Gomez: “Watching my son having an asthma attack for the first time and not been able to help him, not only because his condition hadn’t been diagnosed yet, but because I was far from a hospital and broke. The second scariest was when I was a kid in Guatemala and got stuck in the middle of a blackout with no candles or flashlights, when I was absolutely terrified of the dark.”
"Waking up on Saturday morning only to discover it’s actually Monday. And there’s a world coffee shortage."
Morgan Satria: "When I’m working on a project with little time remaining, and the computer suddenly breaks down, loses my work file, and I have to start again from zero. It’s like running towards the exit pursued by Jason the killer.”
hafaell: "It’s not easy to scare me, but once, when I was in college in an empty classroom, my friend was hiding behind a desk and in absolute silence said ‘Goat’ (which is ‘cabrito’, in Portuguese). He said it in such a calm manner and in a voice I didn’t recognize that it scared me absurdly. It sounds silly, I know, but I jumped from the chair!"
Blair Sayer: “I found a Redback spider on my mail recently, then flicked it in the air, and had to check my hair for the next three hours making sure it hadn’t landed in it.”
"I was at a party at my friend’s house in college, and late that night, around 3am, left a conversation with my friends to go to the bathroom. Along the way, I passed an old wooden rocking chair which I didn’t mind, but did suddenly feel a chill, which I ignored it and continued to the bathroom. On my way back, I heard a screeching sound and looked for it. That’s when I found the old rocking chair moving on it’s own, which made no sense because no one was sitting on it, and there was no way air could do that. So I panicked and ran out of the house, back to my friends. I didn’t say anything, but months later, my friend mentioned he saw a mysterious person in the house that same night of the party. I immediately got goosebumps, which only got worse when he said he told his dad about the mysterious person, and his dad knew exactly who he was talking about. Years ago, when the house was being built, a middle-aged guy accidentally fell, became impaled, and died on the spot. The thought of that guy still gives me chills every time I visit that house. And that is the scariest experience I have ever had in my life!”
“On a trip once, I stayed in a hotel overnight and woke up because of a strange noise. When I got up to see what it was, I came across a figure… but it was just a scare, since this figure was nothing but my own reflection in the mirror.”
WARM & FUZZY… HORROR TEES?
Kittens, puppies, bunnies, and flesh-eating, chainsaw-wielding, night-stalking monsters. One of these things is not like the other. However, at times, life’s warm & fuzzies seem to collide with the spooktacular, and this collection of tees proves it. While each of these designs certainly express a level of creepy, they also contain an inevitable air of adorableness. Maybe it’s because our awesome artists out there are a little nuts, or maybe it’s just because they’re so kind and considerate that they don’t want to scare everyone too much, but regardless, we’re really diggin’ this collection of warm & fuzzy horror tees. Plus, they’re all only $12 until Friday! So buy ‘em up and freak your friends out while also filling their lives with just the right amount of snuggles.
The one time Frankenstein seems to be an ok dude is when he’s hanging around ice-cream cones, rainbows, neon stars, and everything Lisa Frank.
I don’t know, I might welcome an alpacalypse. These guys are pretty cute. Just sayin’.
Don’t you kinda feel like this big Octurg fella is just waiting to be understood? Sure, he squishes people and terrorizes skyscrapers because he’s ginormous, but I bet he really just wants to sit at the park and talk about feelings.
A whole bunch of ghosts just waiting to brighten your day? C’mon, you know you want to be friends with them.
This owl’s looking creepy. And his head is melting. But he’s quite literally warm and fuzzy, so let’s hold out hope for the best.
Most likely, these T. rex’s will eat you alive. But the fact that they’re friends with fuzzy kitties makes me feel like maybe, just maybe, they’ve got a soft side in there.
He’s only fuzzy when in bat form, but it looks like this cute lil’ bloodsucker got a bit too warm during his day at the beach!
GET YOUR $12 ZOMBIE TEES. SINCE THE ZOMBIES ARE COMING.
Oh, that eerily unsettling sound you hear outside, of dirt moving, twigs cracking, and bones creaking? That’s just your old zombie friends, unearthing themselves from their graves and coming out to play for Halloween. Have no fear: they’ll probably just slowly stalk you in the single most methodical and terrifying fashion ever, scare you out of your mind, and then maybe eat your guts or something. We don’t really have any way to armor you against the undead, but we thought you could try suiting yourself up with pics of their friends, and maybe they’ll have mercy. Check out a lineup of our fave zombie tees below (on sale for only $12!); they may be your saving grace. We’d tell you to lock your doors, but c’mon. That won’t do anything.
Best not answer the door. It’s not the pizza delivery guy.
Remember when two against one felt threatening? Zombies don’t mess with child’s play.
It’s not just about the bed bugs, guys.
And all you wanted were flowers.
Actually, you should really, really become friends with this girl right about now.
It’s worse than you thought.
The one morning you’ll wish you overslept.
It’s safe to say the vacation’s over.
You may think you have a choice…
Zombies get sad, too. But they’ll probably still eat you.
There’s no longer a need for breakfast.
Be warned: These guys aren’t jumping out of planes just for the fun of it.
Even mythical creatures stand no chance against the hunger of the undead!
MEET THE LOWBROW CHALLENGE WINNER!
Who can resist a little brain-stretching, off-the-wall, unexpected, tongue-in-cheek, uber bizarre lowbrow art!? Our community can’t, that’s for sure! We figured as much when we launched the Lowbrow design challenge, and as to be expected, we received some wacky submissions (you guys… are wild). Per usual, choosing a victor wasn’t easy, yet “Reaper’s Pizza” by Tony Riff rose as the grand prize winner. We caught up with the English designer and learned a bit about him, his design, and the last pizza he’d eat before… well… a potential demise via Reaper’s Pizza. Read on to get the scoop, and shop Tony’s brand new design here!
Congrats on your winning design “Reaper’s Pizza” for our Lowbrow challenge! Why don’t you tell us a little bit about yourself?
Thanks! Whenever I’m faced with this question, my mind automatically goes blank, so don’t expect too much from me. For starters, I’m from London. I’m 29 but I get I.D.’ed at bars a lot, mostly because I can’t grow a beard, which is probably for the best ‘cos I don’t think one would suit me. But, it would be nice to have the option. That’s pretty much everything you need to know about me so far. Oh, and I draw sometimes.
“Lowbrow” really leaves a lot of room for interpretation. What different types of direction did you consider for your design?
I think my work fits pretty well into the whole “lowbrow” camp already, so I just had fun with it and drew some freaky stuff. A lot of the time I’m happiest with my work when I just go with the flow, so once I had a base idea for a design, I added stuff as I went along in the beginning stages.
How did you ultimately land on “Reaper’s Pizza”?
It all stemmed from a really loose doodle I did of the Grim Reaper with a pizza replacing the scythe blade; honestly I can’t remember why I doodled it, but some of my favourite ideas have all come from things I’ve just randomly doodled without giving much thought. So, after a while I started thinking of ways to make the design more interesting and fleshing it out a little, like having him riding a scooter, etc.
Why does it fall so perfectly in line with the “lowbrow” theme?
I guess it’s just the absurdity of it, and the fact that it could be something taken from a bizarre B-movie or comic book in an alternate universe. To be honest, I only thought of the design in that way once this dude on Tumblr reblogged my pic on his page and added this cool movie style narrative to it:
“Everything’s quiet in the small town of Edenton. That is, until a group of libertine teens catch wind of —and place an order for— the best pizza in the world. But the pizza delivery boy doesn’t accept the usual change for the tip. The timer starts after the final slice has been consumed: are they willing to give up their mortal souls for the most delicious bite known to man? Sharpen your pizza cutters and prepare yourselves for the heart-pounding, gut-wrenching Pan Pizza Pandemic that is Reapers Pizza!!”
I always love seeing other people’s interpretation of something I’ve done. A lot of the time I’ll just think of it in a purely visual sense, and then someone comes along and adds something to it or makes an observation that helps me see it in a totally different way.
Please take us through the process of your design. Feel free to share any WIP’s!
This design was mostly hand drawn in my sketchbook, apart from the background elements and colour. I wanted to give a slightly loose sketchy feel, compared to most of the clean line-work I do, so it was a pretty straight forward process: pencil sketch, pen drawing, scan it in, add some colours on photoshop, bam! Sorted.
The Grim Reaper is typically depicted in dark, eerie colors, but Reaper’s Pizza has more of a bright, neon scheme. What made you choose this colorway?
I love messing around with dark concepts and elements and adding a bit of humour and fun to it, and the colours really add to the overall mood of what I was going for.
Why did the Grim Reaper decide to take on a second job selling pizzas?
I like to think that was ol’ Grim’s job before he got into the whole “harvesting souls” gig. Gotta start somewhere, right?
Does a visit from Reaper’s Pizza mean you simply get to die a little more pleasantly - for example, while eating pizza?
It means you get a free pizza, but one of those slices is cursed and will send your soul into eternal damnation. But hey, that’s a risk I’m willing to take for free pizza.
What type of pizza would you order if it were to be your last?
Anything with lots of meat, peppers, and bbq sauce. My needs are simple.
Any other shout-out’s?
Shout-out to that random dude I saw wearing one of my Threadless shirts a few months ago, and everyone else I’ve never ever seen before that happens to be wearing one of my shirts. You know what? Screw it, I’ll send a shout-out to everyone, even if they’re naked (especially if they’re naked).