A Weirdly Specific Threadless Gift Guide, The Sequel!

This pretty much goes without saying, but we’ll say it anyways: it’s been a weird year. Like, super weird. That “Berries and Cream” song is permanently burned into our little lad brains. We have a love/hate relationship with skinny jeans. And we’re pretty sure birds aren’t real. Sigh. Things may never feel “normal” again.

But just because life’s weird, doesn’t mean it’s bad! In fact, we want you and yours to embrace the best of the weirdness! That’s why we’ve created this followup to our Weirdly Specific Threadless Gift Guide, so you and your favorite odd balls can celebrate all that is strange this holiday season. At Threadless, you’ll find all sorts of gifts….

For people with allergies who’ve spent the whole pandemic reassuring people it’s just allergies.

Just an endless cycle of: Sniffle. Sneeze. Death glares. “I have allergies!” Yep, it’s been a stressful time for the sniffly folks.

For that guy who’s in a loving, nonsexual, long-term relationship with an endangered bird.

This is perhaps the best news we’ve read all year. Zookeeper Chris Crowe has been dutifully dating Walnut, the white-naped crane with a history of murdering her lovers. So far, they’ve hatched five chicks together, creating an insurance of population for the species. That’s some commitment to the cause! We think Chris has earned a nice weekender bag to bring his lady a romantic tuber and rodent picnic.

For the spider who’s been chillin’ in the corner of your shower since September.

Maybe it’s too creepy and high up there to evict. Maybe working from home was getting boring and you realized you didn’t mind their presence. Or maybe it’s love. This spider doesn’t pay rent, but they’re helping you save money on the water bill by scaring you into faster showers!

For Facebook boomers who always use delightfully inappropriate emojis.

Uncle Jim keeps mixing up the cry and laugh-cry emojis, and now it looks like he thinks his dead cat is hilarious. For some reason, Dave has three shoe emojis and a skull in the middle of his retirement announcement. Gotta love a little lost in translation to lighten the mood. Get these Boomers the gift that says, “No, grandma, no matter what you’re cooking for dinner, you cannot use the eggplant emoji.”

For your coworker who waters the fake plants in the office (you’re too nice to say anything).

It’s the strangest thing! She couldn’t keep a single houseplant alive at home, yet around the office she has the greenest thumb! Weird! No one say anything. She needs this win. Keep it up, Nancy, you’re doing great!

For the older man who keeps putting everything but books in the little free library and might be a wizard.

At first you thought maybe he mistook it for a trash can, because twice he put his caramel candy wrappers right next to the old Boxcar Children collection. But then you saw him leave a Beanie Baby, $3, and a fistful of leaves in there in exchange for a copy of Percy Jackson. Now you’re starting to think he’s some sort of neighborhood wizard? Either way, his vibes are impeccable. Can’t wait to see what he puts in there next.

For TikTok farmers who have random, unexpected livestock in their house.

We can’t be the only ones getting this niche content in our feed. Scrolling, scrolling, BOOM, Betty’s got a whole cow in her living room? Or the front door opens and an entire horse clip-clops into the kitchen? Pigs, in literal blankets, laying on the bed? It’s farm-to-table in the best way. We love it.

For the recovered clowns from those sightings back in 2016.

We know you’re out there. Living among us. Pretending it never happened. Please. Never do that shit again.

For grown adults who can’t tell their left and right apart.

“It’s just ahead on the left.” Right…concentrate. How does that saying go? Righty tighty, lefty loosey? Wait, no, that’s for jars. Okay, discreetly do the thumb trick. Where’s the L? Oh god, did they see you doing it? “Left here! AHHHHHHH!” Yikes. Normally we don’t like to point fingers, but in this case, it might be for the best.

For all you artists out there!

It’s hard to follow your dreams! But the truth is, we wouldn’t exist without the perseverance, hard work, and talent of artists! So, whether you’re keeping your art safe and sound in a sketchbook, or you’ve begun showing and selling your pieces, or you already have an Artist Shop here on Threadless, we are so proud of you!

If the holidays are anything like the rest of this year, they’re gonna be weird. Embrace the weirdness with the ones you love. Happy holidays!

The designs featured at the top of this post are “In My Sights” by Chevsy, “Cthulhu’s Church” by spike00, “Visit Mordor” by mathiole, and “Funkalicious” by Fen.

Molly Butler

Dog walker and freelance humor writer. Finishing up MFA in Creative Writing. Twitter addict and serial houseplant killer.